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POLITICS

President-Elect Barack Obama Resigns

In a move that shocked the world the first ever black President-Elect, Barack Obama, resigned from his post giving the Presidency to the oldest man in Delaware, Joe Biden.
"It was fun while it lasted," said Obama via conference call this afternoon, "but the intense stress that I've endured during these past eight days has been more than i bargained for."
Obama went on to describe the numerous stresses that he endured during his tenure in the White House.
"It was some of the toughest three hours of my life," he said, "Trying to communicate with the current administration was nearly impossible. In order for me to lay out my foreign policy plan, we played charades."
However Obama is quite content with his legacy.
"I've enjoyed serving my country and its citizens as Commander-in-Chief."

ENTERTAINMENT

CBS publicizes details of its mid-season premieres

CBS released its new midseason line-up; take a look.

Dear TV watchers,

As the number one network on television we have decided to take it easy this time around. Instead of adding new original programming to our stacked line-up that includes, three CSIs, 2.5 men, 11th hour, Numb3rs, 60 minutes, 48 hours mystery, 20 Survivors, 7 Amazing Races, and Worst Week, we have decided to revamp our current line-up by changing up some things.

MONDAY

8-8:30 --> The Baby Boom Theory: Where did these old people come from?
8:30-9--> How I Banged your Mother
9-9:30--> Charlie's Whores
9:30-10 -->Worst Week
10-11 --> CSI: Miami

TUESDAY

8-9 --> CSI: N
9-10 --> Pass
10-11 --> Without A Face

WEDNESDAY

8-8:30 --> Old Christine with a facelift
8:30-9 --> Gary Still Unmarried
9-10 --> Criminal Minds: self-explanatory
10-11--> CSI: Lieutenant Dan

THURSDAY

8-9 --> Survivor: Wall Street
9-10 --> CSI: Fuck another one
10-11 --> Eleventh Hour: Go to Bed

FRIDAY

8-9 --> Ghost Whisperer with Anna Nicole Smith
9-10 --> The Ex-List: Donald Trump and his wives
10-11 --> Math Class: Numb3rs

SATURDAY

10-11 --> 48 Hours Mystery: Almost Dateline

SUNDAY

7-8 --> 60 Minutes: Its only 40
8-9 --> The Amazing Race: The life of Barack Obama
9-10 --> Cold Case: Turn on a fucking heater
10-11 --> The Unit: The Allstate Guy