One-on-One with Joe Biden

In the first of our four interviews with the Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidates is with Joe Biden. Joe Biden is the senior senator for the state of Delaware, and he is a very passionate and eloquent politician. We sat down with Senator Biden last week at a University of Delaware Mud Hen football game.

REAL NEWS: Why did you accept the vice-presidential nomination from Barack?
JOE BIDEN: Well I wouldn't say that I accepted it. I really got it on a default because Hillary bitched out Barack when he asked her and he wanted someone who looked like Hillary to be his VP. That's when I got call.

RN: Ever since your passionate speech at the Democratic National Convention you have been relatively quiet; why is that?
JB: Well (laughs), I was high when I gave that speech. I'm always high when I give a speech or interview (swallow eight pills). It lets the words flow easier.

RN: Ok...What is your drug of choice?
JB: Cocaine 99% pure.

RN: Well, moving on. What exactly do you do as Senator Obama's running mate?
JB: I go out and try to rally the older voters. So everyday I'll go to either an IHOP or bingo hall or even a nursing home to spread the word.

RN: So in essence you do nothing at all?
JB: Correct, but the food is amazing.

RN: You've been a Delaware Senator for what seems like forever; how do you feel about that?
JB: Like crap. How would you feel being the oldest national politician for Delaware. C'mon be honest with yourself. We have a sang back home: "Delaware: First to ratify the Constitution and last in everything else."

RN: (stare awkwardly) So what are your thoughts on the financial crisis?
JB: I haven't thought on it, but I have thought about it, and I think that the whole system needs to be overhauled. We need to regulate it and solve the problem without out bailing out every Ma and Pop store this side of the Mississippi.

RN: So how do you propose that we fix it?
JB: Ummmmmmmmmmmm, I dk ask my BFF Jill.

RN: Nice commercial plug Senator, and with that I'll transition to your Republican counterpart, Sarah Palin, your thoughts on her?
JB: Well she certainly is nice on the eyes, but then she opens her mouth. Someone should get her a role of toilet paper to clean up the shit coming out of her mouth.

RN: Ha. One last question Mr. Senator; what do you think is the key issue of this campaign?
JB: Well, like Barack Obama said its time for a change.

Next Tuesday we'll have our interview with Republican VP candidate, Sarah Palin.