POLITICS

BUSINESS



StubHub Reports Record Profits After Democratic National Convention



StubHub auctioned off the most expensive ticket in the company's young history Wednesday night in advance of the Demoractic National Convention.

"One ticket at centerfield sold for $400,543," said StubHub executive, Sam Tickies, "It amazes me that the tickets sold considering that they were free".



POLITICS



Republican Party releases their new slogan



Trying to save face from the "Pregnant daughter of the VP candidate-gate" scandal the Republican Party announced their new slogan for the new Presidential ticket.

"Considering that we have an old, crinkly man in John McCain and a hot VPILF in Sarah Palin, we have decided on a creative name for the ticket," said senior Republican official, Harvey Oilman, "We will call the ticket Crust/Lust '08."