News off the Wires

Man tries putting face on Facebook, winds up licking his monitor.

Twitter guys arrested for stalking.

NASCAR enforces speed limit, everyone wins.

Couple falls in love, both drown to death.

Saturday Night Live now on tape delay.

Dyslexic man catches wine's flu.

Man drinks himself to death, autopsy finds nose in upper intestine.

Bear Stearns trademarks phrase "BS".

Man saves space, has testicles placed in brain cavity.

Carol has a sex change, states now know as North & South Carlina.

Fish fighting back, go humaning.