Republicans do it again

POLITICS

Republicans pass new law while rest of Washington mourns passing of Ted Kennedy

While most of Washington and America mourned the passing of Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy the Republicans were hard at work on the hill.

"I'm proud to say that we have passed a very important bill that will help health care reform," said Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky. "The Human Reorganization act of 2009 will help streamline health care reform as it will help defray some of the cost of paying to reform the the current system."

The main points of the bill highlighted terminating the existence of all Americans with last names beginning with the letter Y. This list will include Congressmen Bill Young of Florida, and Don Young of Alaska (the 5th and 7th most senior congressmen respectively), Hall of Fame quarterback Steve Young, Kevin Youkilis, and Carl Yastrzemski.

"It must be done in order to save our republic," said Republican leader Glenn Beck. "Besides we must insure the names near the top like, Davis, Anderson, and most of all BECK. Its survival of the fittest, in alphabetical order of course, and the Y's had their chance and failed."

However many Democrats and people in general are less than enthused about the new bill.

"We are in a time of mourning over the death of a great American, and the Republicans want to end the lives of even more Americans?" said Bill Young. "Are they out of their fucking minds?"