Due to Rising Energy Costs, Satan Has to Turn Off the Heat in Hell

Due to rising energy costs, Satan has to turn off the heat in Hell

Hell has frozen over; at least for the near future as Satan turned off the heat for the first time since the fall of the Roman Empire.
"I had to do it", said a pensive Satan, "We have been having enough troubles paying for the upkeep of the place and all of the asinine demands; the price of oil caused us to make drastic cutbacks".
Among some of the other cutbacks approved by the Hell Board of Trustees were to eliminate brimstone, remove Doritos from the snack counter, and brighten Hell up with Feng Shui. "In the end it will look beautiful", said senior Trustee, the soul of O.J. Simpson.