Obama's Inaugural Address

Thanks to a disgruntled CIA agent (Paul --------), Real News was able to obtain Barack Obama's Inaugural Address.

My fellow Americans. Look..............I stand before.......you............as the 44th Pres................ident............of the United States. I am very proud......................and honored...............to be the first African-American................elected. While I have been able...............to make every American like me...............that doesn't diminish....................the current problems.............facing America. As your President I will.....................do my best.................to fix the current.......economic.........situation. I will...............withdraw..........troops from Iraq.........in a timely matter.........and..........I will do it all with charisma.............and a smile.

Before I go any further I'd like to uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank everyone whoooooooooooo got me here. I couldn't have done it without my....................wife and daughters. They have kept me.........going. A special thanks goes to all my boys in Chicago.............and Oprah. Finally I'd like to thank the person who is almost completely responsible for me standing before you today.Their hard work............and dedication to my campaign allowed me to uhhhhhhhhhhhhh win America's vote. So before we uhhhhhhhhhhhh go any further............. I'd like to thank Sarah Palin for her massive, non-monetary boost she gave to my campaign and to "Ron Blockojevech" for his gener...............osity.

So America take pride..................you now have a President that.........you can.........believe in. Be proud that you elected a Harvard man to replace a.............Y--e person. Together we can. God bless..........you, and God Bless America.