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Woman charged with gross negligence after giving birth



A woman in Omaha, Nebraska has been charged with gross negligence and endangering a child after giving birth to a healthy baby boy last night. The woman, Alexa Johnson, age 31 was arrested immediately after the umbilical cord was cut.

"We've been watching this dirtball for a little over nine months," said Omaha Police Sergeant, Jim Marshall, "Our man on the inside was informing us about numerous atrocities that Mrs. Johnson was committing."

The most notable offenses were not feeding or clothing the baby for nine months. Mrs. Johnson proclaimed her innocence as she was led from here hospital bed to a nearby holding cell.
"You guys are crazy," she said, "My baby was living off food that I ate, and how the fuck do you clothe something that's lodged a foot up my vagina!?!"

In a related story Mrs. Johnson had an emergency blood transfusion late tonight because the surgeon forgot to sew up the C-section.